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Many older people arrive at a point where they need to move out of their own home into another living situation. This can be a very difficult decision to make, since many people plan to live out their lives in their current homes. It helps to think about and discuss housing alternatives before the need arises.

When possible, these decisions should be made with input from all the family members. You might do the research about options, and then openly discuss with the whole family the advantages and disadvantages of each option. It is normal for people to be resistant at first to moving away from a home they have lived in most of their adult life. But when housing repairs and yard work become more troublesome than enjoyable, they may begin to see advantages of other options.

It is important that you first consider all the options available to keep the person in his or her own home, since getting help that will allow the older person to stay at home may be preferable for that person and for you. If remaining at home is not feasible, you should then explore types of places that are available to help them relax and live in a place that can be supportive of their needs.

Moving in with children is one option that can have many effects on your family. This decision requires careful evaluation by all the parties involved. Family members need to be careful not to make this decision too quickly. Sometimes relatives think this is what is expected of them, even when it is not a good option. To decide if moving in with you is a good idea, you might ask yourself: Will the person continue to have choices about various activities, such as church-going, visiting friends, or having friends visit them? Is your home big enough for comfort and to protect the privacy of the whole family, including the aging family member? Are the needed community resources available to support this arrangement?  Can needed services be provided in your home? What effect will caring for an older family member have on you and the rest of the family, particularly if you are employed or have other major responsibilities? Do you truly want to have the family member in your home, and does that person want to be there?

Taking the time to think about all these things and discuss them with others may help in making a decision that everybody can comfortably accept. If it is determined that moving in with relatives is not a good idea, there are a number of options to be considered depending on the needs and desires of the older person and family.

Senior Citizen Apartment Residences generally offer the security of having other residents and staff around. They usually serve at least one meal in a group dining room and provide other services such as recreational activities and transportation. However, the residents must be capable of general self-care and they must usually bring their own furnishings. Call your local housing authority or Area Agency on Aging for possibilities in your town.

Board and Care Homes provide more support than an apartment. Known by such names as “rest homes”, “domiciliary care”, or “sheltered care homes”, they usually provide room, meals, utilities, housekeeping and laundry in a supervised shared facility. Managers are available throughout the day to assist the residents as needed. They are usually small, housing fewer than 30 residents. Board And Care Homes must meet certain standards to be licensed by the state. Contact the Area Agency on Aging or the Department of Social Services in your area for further information.

Foster Care involves an unrelated family caring for a dependent person. The person moves in with the foster family and they commit to meeting all the basic needs of the elderly individual, including all personal and medical care needs. To see if this option is available in your community, contact your local Department of Social Services.

Life Care Communities offer all the benefits of home and more. The difference between life care communities and boarding or rest homes is in their commitment to provide care regardless of how ill the person may become. Health care services and a nursing home are on the grounds and immediately available when needed. However, costs are very high, leaving this option only for those who are financially well off. Some Life Care Communities have experienced financial difficulties, so it’s a good idea to check out the financial soundness of the community before making this choice.

If your relative moves outside the home, your relationship will change. Someone else will now be taking responsibility for part of their care. You must find a new role for yourself and deal with the loss of the roles that you might have had. While others may not be able to do everything as well as you can, be supportive of their doing it as well as possible.

So take some time to research what housing options are available before they are needed. Talk it over with all the people who will be involved, and work together to decide on an acceptable course of action.

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